“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” —Theodore Roosevelt
So I have been a bit AWOL, truth is, I have started a new pseud to write paranormal romance and it just doesn’t fit with “Invictus” & “From Far Away To Very Close”, which are the stories of my heart that I started writing for as Aska.
But it’s a new year, right? So maybe I can actually take the time to write “Portraits in Colour” about two very different girls (an artist and a music lover) who get bumped together by fate and learn to look a little deeper. If that happens, the mailing list is where I definitely won’t forget to say anything (http://eepurl.com/byTea1).
But anyway, if you were here for the werewolves, drop me an email and I’ll let you know where they have gone. For now, I wanted to tell you about Brene Brown and her book “Daring Greatly” which I have listening to intermittently because it is a bit too much to take all at once.
Her premise is uncomfortable as it’s true. Truth, bared, is always a little too glaring, isn’t it? We must allow ourselves to be vulnerable to be able to connect with others at all, and for that we must let go of all the strategies taught to us to avoid just that. It is, of course, a constant struggle, because we have been conditioned to put on armour and because we simply want to escape the pain that will come with exposure when someone fucks up and doesn’t take care of our fragile heart. Then we feel shame, because we have been seen and found wanting and that’s almost unbearable. But in our heads we feel shame anyway, and it is only through showing ourselves to other than it can be defeated.
Anyway, this book is breaking my brain a little, heartily recommended so have some quotes:
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
“Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.” & “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”
“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. The power that connection holds in our lives was confirmed when the main concern about connection emerged as the fear of disconnection; the fear that something we have done or failed to do, something about who we are or where we come from, has made us unlovable and unworthy of connection.”
“I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let’s think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow—that’s vulnerability.”
My very best wishes for you all in this coming holidays and new year,